


Pieces.

by deltachye



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Love Triangles, Non-Linear Narrative, One Shot, POV Third Person, Post-Break Up, Reader-Insert, Songfic, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 23:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14319117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye
Summary: [tetsurou kuroo x reader x kozume kenma]“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”





	Pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> * this is a non-linear narrative. things have been purposefully shuffled out of order. the vagueness of who is who or what really happened is deliberate—after all, as an outsider, what can you really know?  
> * symbols and callbacks have been scattered throughout. try and pay attention to threes, gold, facades, fire, the sky, etc.  
> * https://goo.gl/RDzaHi is a chrome ext that replaces names/blanks and will make the story flow better since there are a lot of descriptive blanks.

****

__you are only what people make of you: broken hearts left behind._ _

**1.**  
[Transcript: Kozume Kenma]  
‘Are you kidding me? I don’t want to answer that. Leave me alone. (A LONG PAUSE. THERE IS SOME FORCEFUL INSISTENCE.) _…fine_. We all knew each other for a pretty long time. She was… Kuroo introduced me to her. She’s the volleyball manager. That’s all. (A QUESTION IS ASKED, SKEPTICALLY.) Yeah, we _were_ all friends. I guess. (ANOTHER PAUSE. HE LOOKS AWAY HERE.) Okay, look… I don’t know. I really don’t. I wish everything could go back to normal. It was… really happy back then. But it’s not anymore, so I seriously think you should just drop it. There’s no reason to put together any of the pieces. It’s never going to be the same.’

 **2.**  
They were standing together; close in order to shield from the wind, and yet so, so distant. The slanting rain fell heavily in sharply pointed sheets. It was early winter, and yet it rained; soon it would freeze over and snow, but for now, it only rained. Rain dampens more than snow. Rain clings more closely than snow. Rain is blood and snow is ash. An imaginational mist clouded around their feet like sorrow-laden eighth-note triplets from a worn-out golden bugle.

She shivered. It was eerily silent. There were no passersby or cars, for rational people were content to stay warm indoors. The ants had already died, the rats hid away, and the birds were already gone. Neither one dared to say a word. Those could no longer warm the space between bodies like hushed whispers and closed eyes; and it seemed like nothing needed to be said, anyways.

He shuffled on his feet numbly, looking down at his reflection. The rain beat him into submission, distorting his face between ripples. It felt like he might never feel warmth again. The flames had burnt out and died. His neck was stiff as he took a breath, tasting the bittersweet water on his lips as he did.

“ _Okay_.”

Rain ornamented the ends of their lashes like precious diamonds, mingling with teardrops and falling to the Earth. They turned away from each other, wind whistling between them until they were both gone.

 **3.**  
[Transcript: Shiori Kirigakure]  
‘[Surname]? Oh yeah, she’s in my class. I know her. Him, not so much, but he’s in third year too. We’re okay friends I guess… but we don’t talk every day or anything. Do you need them or something? (PAUSE; MUFFLED DIALOGUE.) Oh, okay. I mean, you could just… nevermind. Sure. Anyways, yeah. [Name]’s pretty nice and all. She’s really smart. She sleeps in class, but her test scores are always super high. Did you know that she got accepted to all of these big-name schools abroad? Last I heard, she was accepted to places in France, England, and Norway. Apparently, some schools asked her to go even though she didn’t even _apply_. I wish universities would fight over me like that… (LAUGHTER.) A lot of people are jealous of her since she’s pretty, too. She’s definitely _that_ kind of person, right? Like the one that doesn’t try but is still good at everything. And you can’t even hate her because she’s so nice. (A REGRETFUL SIGH.) But yeah. The girls in our class are pretty jealous of her because she was dating that guy you mentioned, uh…? Right, Kuroo. Tetsurou, yeah? Mhm. It’s not like she talked about him that much, but everybody knew. But like, we aren’t in the same clubs, so I never see her outside of class. We don’t know each other that well. Sorry. (SPEAKING.) Wow, seriously?! I had no idea! Oh, man… yeah, no, I don’t think so. I mean I dunno her that well, but that doesn’t sound like something she’d do. I dunno about him. But it’s always the guy’s fault, isn’t it? (THE SOUND OF A CHAIR SQUEAKING ON THE FLOOR.) ‘Kay, I’ve got to go to baseball. Do you need to ask me anything else? (A QUESTION; THE LOUD RUSTLING OF FABRIC AS SHIORI COLLECTS HER BAG.) I haven’t, no. She wasn’t here for the past few days either. But hey—things like this make me glad I don’t have a boyfriend. I can’t stand sad stories like that.’

 **4.**  
[Screenshot: Deleted Image]  
_Caption: i love you._

 **5.**  
[Text Log: Morisuke Yaku]  
Kuroo: hey man do u think yasuma senpai would get mad if I bring a friend in for practice today??  
You: Probably not.. why what for?  
Kuroo: we had plans to study bio after school but I forgot about vball;;; lol  
You: So you’re going to make your friend wait for you in the gym? Dude, that’s rough. Why can’t you just meet up with him later?  
Kuroo: she said she’d rather watch our practice, idk  
You: A girl!!! Wow Kuroo, what a gentleman  
Kuroo: ikr  
Kuroo: anyways ?? yakkun-chan~~?? do you think I’ll live to see another day if the cap gets mad ^^;  
You: What are you even asking me for.. go talk to the captain? But either way you suck for making a girl wait for you. Was it supposed to be a date ~?  
Kuroo: no ofc not we’re just friends. It’s for the bio unit test tmr  
You: I’m not even looking at you and I know you’re blushing.  
Kuroo: k little man square up  
You: Say that again. I’ll beat your ass right in front of this girl.  
Kuroo: bls no,,,

 **6.**  
“Hey, [Surname]-chan.” He jogged up to her before she could vanish into storage, and she perked up when she heard him coming, slowing to a stop.

“Kuroo-kun!”

“You didn’t have to help clean up or anything,” he continued, patting his face dry with one of the scratchy off-white towels the school provided. He felt sheepish standing in front of her as she wheeled a ball cart around, especially since she wasn’t even supposed to be here in the first place. They had agreed to meet for a study session at the library for the biology unit final tomorrow, but he’d completely forgotten that he had volleyball practice after school every day. Luckily, she didn’t seem too upset about it and waved him off.

“It’s fine! It’s kind of fun, being a manager. I never got into volleyball, so it was cool to see you guys practice. You looked great!” She beamed up at him, a strand of hair slipping out from behind her ear as she tilted her head up to him. He swallowed thickly and felt the back of his neck warm as he reached up instinctively to fiddle with something.

“I mean… if you want, I could talk to the captain and see if we could have you on board as a manager.”

“Wait, really?” She seemed incredibly surprised by his suggestion, and he might’ve taken it back if not for the excited sparkle in her eyes. She hid it by hastily looking away, biting down a bashful expression. “Oh. But I’ve never been a manager before, so I don’t want to cause any trouble. It’s fine! Don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, it’s my bad that you had to come to today’s practice anyways. The captain and coaches are pretty nice, and we could really use the help. I’ll ask him—only if you want, though.”

“You know what? That’d be really nice.” She didn’t hide her smile this time, and he couldn’t help but grin back.

 **7.**  
[**Track 1** : FOREVER—LOVESADKID](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s13YHNSHaBo)  
_…I never really thought you’d be my crush / You had me wrapped up in your touch / And then I found there were no substitute / If only we weren’t so young / And I wrote statements from the vacance / Our relationship were hated, animosity was blatant / But I’m saying that I’m staying / I can fight the world with you / Hand to hand and all / Cause I swear that you mean the world to me / Even if we’re so small…_

 **8.**  
[Official document: Club Manager Application]  
_Full Name: [Surname] [Name]_  
DOB: xx-xx-xx  
Student ID: xxxxxx-xxxx  
Homeroom: 1-3, Sanada N.

 **9.**  
[Instagram Archive: 05/03]  
Break from practice with these idiots. What’s Yaku even doing? Lol. #fighting!  
_Tagged_ : @kurooooot @yakumori @nobububukai +3 more

 **10.**  
Lev Haiba watched on with curious green eyes as Kuroo and the Nekoma Boy’s Volleyball Club’s manager shared a secretive laugh. It was only tryouts week, and he was still quite new to the school, so names weren’t sticking with him yet. But he at least recognized the girl by face. She seemed to be close with everybody who was a returning player, which made sense, since she was a third year. She’d been friendly with him, too, offering him home-made snacks last practice. Maybe she’d been a manager last year, too. The distance obscured any of their conversation, so he could only guess what they were talking about so animatedly. Kuroo had acted all mysterious and cool as the team’s acting captain, but the way he was being smacked by the girl’s clipboard painted a completely different image of him.

“Hey, Kenma-san,” Lev noted without looking away, absent-mindedly sucking down lukewarm Gatorade from his bottle. “Our manager and Kuroo-senpai look really close, don’t they?”

“So?” the shorter boy returned grudgingly, his voice muffled. He hated the beep test drill and never performed that well. Lev’s eagerness to attach himself to Kenma didn’t help the older boy’s annoyance, either. Kenma was currently lying face down on the gym floor in an effort to cool his burning red skin. Lev ignored the hostility and crouched down to lower his voice and still be heard.

“Do you think that they’re dating?” he gossiped excitedly.

“I don’t care,” Kenma groaned crossly, flipping his head to cool the other cheek and look away from his obnoxious underclassman. His limp body seemed to be steaming.

“Well. I think they’d be pretty cute together.” Lev hummed to himself, smiling as Kuroo tousled the girl’s hair with a grin across his face. She protested with a pouty expression of her own, and they linked arms in a mock cat-fight. Or maybe they were just bracing themselves against the world together. Lev thought that he ought to try and find a cute girl like that, too.

Kenma frowned, forcing his fingers to relax from the fist they had formed.

“Guess so…”

 **11.**  
[Archived: Past Boys’ Volleyball Club (Nekoma) team rosters]  
_Coach(es): Y Nekomata, H Ginoza_  
Senior players (years 2/3): #1 K Kazama (L/C.), #2 S Hachikou (S/V.C), #6 T Takeda (MB), #9 A Fuu (MB), #11 R Tazaki (WS), #12 M Miyuki (S)  
Junior players (years 1): #7 J Yamato (WS), #8 I Toshie (WS), #13 Y Yamamato (L)  
R Okita (Manager)

 _Coach(es): Y Nekomata, M Naoi_  
Senior players (years 2/3): #1 O Yasuma (S/C.), #2 Y Hito (MB/V.C), #5 D Monomi (L), #7 F Kenta (MB), #8 G Rikozo (WS), #9 F Natsuko (S), #11 S Kido (WS)  
Junior players (year 1s): #3 T Kuroo (MB), #4 M Yaku (L), #6 N Kai (WS)  
[N] [Surname] (Manager)

 **12.**  
[Instagram Archive: 08/21]  
kurooooot: oyaoyaoya ! somebody’s looking cute here (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ  
[surname]: @kurooooot haha ty! (´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ  
b.owl.kuto_: @[surname] @kurooooot Just date already you fools. -_-

 **13.**  
[Detention slips: 09/03. Class 1-3, Kuroo T and [Surname] [N]]  
_Suspension due to inappropriate behaviour during cleaning duties._

 **14.**  
[Transcript: Chie Kuromine]  
‘Oh! Yeah, I remember [Name]-san. We were in the same class in first year. She was really smart and helped me with my math homework all the time. I always felt really bad for asking her, but she was super nice about it. (LAUGHTER.) I don’t see her much anymore since we aren’t in the same classes or clubs. (A QUESTION.) Oh, she was really sweet. Funny, too. But sorry… I can’t really remember if she was dating anybody back then. Oh! Wait, yes! I remember accidentally walking into a guy confessing to her! She got a lot of those, heh. But I can’t really remember which guy it was… (SUGGESTION MADE.) No, I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of him before. Is he even in the third year? (ANOTHER SUGGESTION.) Oh, yeah! Him! Kuroo-kun was in the same class too. Yeah, he sat behind [Name]. He was just like any other guy I guess. He’s pretty good looking—oh, don’t tell anybody I said that, though! That’d be so embarrassing... But yeah. What was I saying? (QUIET SPEAKING. A REMINDER.) Right, um, yeah. He and [Name] seemed pretty close, but I mean, everybody was pretty close? Sorry… I don’t remember much. I think they got together pretty late. Maybe third term? But they were a really cute couple back then. Why are you asking? (SPEAKING.) Oh? Okay. Well, I hope you find what it is that you’re looking for. Speaking of; if you find a pink sparkly pencil lying around, can you let me know? I lost it and I’ve been trying to find it ever since…’

 **15.**  
[Text Log: Kozume Kenma]  
Kuroo: kenmaaa I need ur help man  
You: i’m busy.  
Kuroo: no ur not I know ur probably playing that weird dating game  
Kuroo: am I right or what??  
You: Persona isn’t a dating game…  
Kuroo: whatever it leads into what I need to ask u. pls Kenma  
You: Then hurry up and ask already.  
Kuroo: how do u know if you like a girl?  
You: …………why… are you asking me. Me.  
Kuroo: bcs you play those dating games where u romance girls  
You: So? It’s not like that’s real life.. god, you’re crazy….  
Kuroo: I’m just so mf lost dude  
Kuroo: every time I think about her I feel like I’m going to die  
Kuroo: and I just can’t stop thinking about her either. Everything about her makes my heart beat faster. I want to fight the world for her. but I don’t want to ruin the friendship we already have. But every part of me wants to be with her. but I can’t risk it. tell me what I should do kenma…;;  
Kuroo: are u kidding me ur not even going to read my texts anymore?? kenam ur such a bad firedn!!!  
You: It looks like you already know the answer to your question so LEAVE ME ALONE.

 **16.**  
The third and final term of high school’s first year was marked by an early spring, and the March weather was full of budding greens from beneath the slow-thawing snow. Chie hugged her light jacket around herself as she meandered the back-yard lot, trudging through slush. She kept her eyes to the ground, trying to search for a lost ID card. Unfortunately, Chie was prone to forgetting and misplacing things, and went through these types of scavenger hunts often. There was a white thing wedged between some rocks and she eagerly stooped low, only to discover that it was just a plastic wrapper. She sighed disappointedly and rose, looking around for a trash bin—before noticing two people standing a short distance away, leaning against the school’s façade. Face up on the ground beside them was a tiny plastic card that clearly had Chie’s face on it. She was about to go over and pick it up when the wind blew over a fragment of their conversation.

“What’s… Kuroo?”

“I… to ask you… something.”

Chie’s eyes widened. That had definitely been [Name]’s voice, and the broad shoulders of the boy blocking her from sight definitely had to be that boy that sat behind her—Kuroo! Chie wasn’t one to gossip, but she had been egging [Name] into confessing to the boy she liked for ages, and it was too good of an opportunity to miss. Chie crept around out of sight while keeping an eye on her ID card, which lay pathetically in the dark ash-black snow of Kuroo’s shadow.

“‘Course, shoot.”

It was much easier to hear them now that she was closer, and Chie breathed carefully through her nose, feeling her heart pound with anticipation.

“I…”

There was an uncomfortably long silence and Chie wondered what she was missing by being unable to see. She almost risked exposing her presence by peeking around the corner when Kuroo suddenly continued, his voice loud and reedy:

“Would you hate me if I said I loved you?”

Chie nearly gasped aloud and quickly clamped her mouth shut with a hand. Kuroo continued in the same voice, hastily tumbling words out one after the other.

“What I mean to say is! Recently, I just… really haven’t been able to keep my mind off of you. I mean, ever since we met, it’s like we were meant to be friends, you know? I never thought that I’d like you this much, but… I can’t deny it anymore. But if this would ruin our friendship, forget I ever said anything.” A short pause; he was probably shuffling his weight from foot to foot. “But if it wouldn’t…”

Chie could only imagine what [Name]’s face looked like: wide-eyed and slack jawed, most likely. She had such a high academic aptitude, but the poor girl never knew what was coming her way if it regarded feelings. She was totally blind to it.

“Oh. Wow. Um, okay. I…”

At this point, no more words needed to be said. [Name] had gotten very good at politely declining people’s confessions, so her uncharacteristic wordlessness spoke enough. Chie was quite sure she’d gotten the whole story and smiled to herself, taking careful steps to creep away—forgetting her ID card behind as she did. She caught the last thing [Name] said before they were out of earshot, though. Three, worn words:

“ _I love you_.”

 **17.**  
[Snapchat Memories: 04/02]  
7:12 AM: Back to school T^T year 2 here we come…  
8:00 AM: Coffee and cherry blossoms w Tetsurou on the way to school!  
3:18 PM: TIRED. (why does vball practices have to start right away.. =_=||)  
5:39 PM: Much love for this one even though he’s ugly  < 3

 **18.**  
[Transcript: Xie Hua Jing (Kyou Hanai)]  
‘Oh, okay… but please make it quick. I have to get my flute from the band room. (QUESTION.) Uh… yes. [Name] and I were friends. She helped me with my Japanese since I moved here from Beijing in second year. I thought she was very nice. But I can’t really remember much. (ANOTHER QUESTION.) Kuroo? Uh… tall boy with the… (SHE MOTIONS UPWARDS.) Hair? Yeah, okay. He wasn’t in our class last year, but lunch, he would come visit. I think. They seemed… how do you say… happy? I don’t know other… uh, I don’t know the other boy. Why? (DIALOGUE.) Oh... no wonder she looked sad. (INTERRUPTION.) What? Yes, she was attending school today. I saw her near the stairs at the break. (DIALOGUE.) Huh. Well, I think it made sense. If what you say is true, then probably… 她的心碎了.’

 **19.**  
“…yeah.”

“ _Dude_!” The slightly shorter boy whistled and clapped a strong hand to Kuroo’s back in elation, laughing giddily as he did. “Score! See? I told you, didn’t I?!”

“I mean… yeah. Yeah. Whatever, fine. You were right.” Kuroo wasn’t often shy, but he seemed to be a bit flushed in the face, and Akito couldn’t help but snicker at the friend he’d known since elementary.

“You’re such a _prude_ , Tets. At least you aren’t as bad as Ren. That asshole goes on for ages. But hey, it went okay, right? No crying or blood?”

“Okay, _no_. Here’s what we’re not going to do today: ask into every single detail like it’s some weird erotica fanfiction—”

“Hey, hey! I’m just proud that my baby bird took flight. …and scored that kitty.” Akito laughed again as he dodged a wayward fist. Kuroo scowled, clapping a hand to his cheek to cool the redness.

“Yeah, whatever. Just keep it quiet, all right? I’m not asking for the whole damn world to know.”

“Sure, sure.”

“And don’t tell Ren. I’m sick of hearing shit from him.”

Akito nodded grimly. “I got you, man. Just you and me.” He then broke out with a devious smile. “And her too, eh?”

 _And_ her _, too?_

 **20.**  
[**Track 2** : 3WW—ALT-J](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwBkXgWNs_M)  
_…Oh, these three worn words / Oh, that we whisper / Like the rubbing hands / Of tourists in Verona / I just want to love you in my own language…_

 **21.**  
“Kenma, hey! This is [Name].”

“Hello!” she chirped, waving. Her genuine cheeriness made Kenma raise a suspicious eyebrow, but he managed to nod back warily.

The ceremony for Nekoma’s first-years had finally ended, much to Kenma’s undying relief. The violent April wind outside had practically shot stray grass into his eye like an assault of arrows, and he hated being around this many people he didn’t know. It was a classic anxiety-inducing situation, and he just wanted out—but Kuroo, being Kuroo, had managed to track him down in all these people and brought yet another stranger along. Great. He couldn’t help his tenseness and Kuroo seemed to notice, waving a hand reassuringly.

“You know about [Name], right?”

Kenma looked back to the girl and didn’t recognize her face; but then he remembered what her name was and felt his expression sour. It was in no offence to her, but rather, to the boy chortling stupidly by her side.

“Yeah,” Kenma muttered dryly. “You just can’t shut up about her.”

“To be fair, he doesn’t shut up about you either, Kenma-kun. Tetsu’s just got a big mouth.” The wry tone in her voice piqued Kenma’s interest and he spared her a closer inspection—she was a pretty girl with glossy hair and a nice face. The way Kuroo talked about her made one think that [Surname] [Name] had the beauty of Aphrodite—but Kenma guessed that the way she glowed like gold when Kuroo talked to her made it pretty understandable _why_. He watched as they bickered together, picking up where the other left off without any gaps or pieces missing. They fit together perfectly. He felt his heart sink in his chest.

“Kenma-kun!” she said suddenly, her brow furrowed as she whipped around to look at him. “I’m right, aren’t I?!”

Kenma had no idea what the question or subject had been but found himself nodding anyways. Kuroo faked an expression of heartbreak.

“Kenma, how could you! After all we’ve been through!? You’re such a fake friend! Best friends _off_.”

Suddenly, the wind didn’t seem so bad, the way the three of them all huddled up against it together. Kenma hadn’t expected to like her so much; but the way her hair tossed in the wind wouldn’t leave his head.

 **22.**  
[Instagram Archive: 05/20]  
Woosh~! Kenma doesn’t have an insta but he looks cute here haha ^^  
_Likes_ : kurooooot, xie.kyou, and 333 others

 **23.**  
[Search History]  
8:57 PM. 1,1-dimethylcyclohexane  
9:13 PM. Organic chemistry introduction lab key japan  
10:22 PM. alkenes diagram  
10:51 PM. Eleimination reacstions  
11:26 PM. Ethylene  
11:59 PM. Weather Forecast Tokyo

Today  
3:33 AM. How do you tell someone you love them

 **24.**  
[**Track 3** : IKNOWHOWITENDS—SAMSA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xgqO9K6xb4)  
_…We could fall together / I just want to know how / It feels to hold your hand / But you don’t know me / I know you don’t know me / I’m not even sure if / You know I exist / And when I watch you smile / I’m compelled to look away / Cause I don’t want to fall / No, I don’t want to tumble / Into your abyss / I wish you would notice / I wish you would notice me / It’s just I feel so invisible / And I know it’s my fault / All my friends say / I should get your number / I should introduce me / But I know how that ends / So I’ll sit here / Want you from a distance / I don’t want to let you / Shatter my façade…_

 **25.**  
There was a perishing sky above them, lilac stains running smoothly along the edge of growing twilight and vanishing day. It gave them a cool, blue tint upon their faces as they looked at one another, their eyes downturned, half-shut.

“I can’t believe it’s going to be our last year.” She sighed, crossing her arms over herself as a cold breeze fluttered past. He felt his neck stiffen.

“Yeah. And… you still want to go abroad for university?” There was a fragment of hope in his empty question—because she hadn’t yet answered, there was a possibility she would say ‘no’—

“Yes.”

The hope died.

She shuffled on her feet as they leant back against the railing. The hill they were overlooking dropped steeply at this cliff-like edge, revealing a secretive, picturesque view over metropolitan Tokyo. In the fading light, city lights gleamed like forgotten gold in a smouldering dragon’s den. It was here that they’d shared their first kiss, last summer. She could remember it, and so did he, the memory hanging over the tops of their heads like imaginational mist. It was warmer back then. There was a chill encroaching tonight, and although the two could have come closer together to lend each other their warmth, they didn’t.

“I see.” His voice was thick, uncharacteristically so. He was prone to teasing in order to divert people’s attention away from his true emotions. It was a façade, as they say—but he believed that he never needed to be anything less than honest with her. She touched his arm, and then moved her hand away. The warmth lingered before dwindling away.

Love is painted gold, and yet…

The paint of the façade peels and slowly falls.

“I’ll still visit home every now and then.” But the voice didn’t hold much truth, just like his own question hadn’t been genuine. He wanted to tell her that it was fine, and maybe tell himself that too—the way kids on the playground have fearless bravado, navigating the windy world with a square jaw and grin on their fire-licked faces.

But he said nothing.

At this point, if these two people parted now, there may have been less pain. There may have been healing. There could have been a myriad of tiny rainbows after the storm. But they lingered, too attracted to gold; too attracted to the embers of dragons’ fire. Together, they burned brightly, and burnt out—

And then there was only ashen black snow, drifting pieces in the breeze.

 **26.**  
[Discord Log: jino#1218]  
jino: u ok man? u haven’t logged in in forever!! the whole guild was mad worried  
asdghjkl: Guess so.  
jino: u sure? u don’t seem too happy. cos u can always talk if u have to.  
asdghjkl: I don’t want to talk about it.  
jino: ono well ok. we r here for u if u want it. promise! (is it chem? lolol I bombed my o-chem lab dude sorry your tutoring went to waste -.-|| )  
asdghjkl: Thanks… But you can’t help me with this problem.

 **27.**  
[Text Log: Akito Takao]  
You: Hey tets ik u were busy this weekend but how abt the next?  
Kuroo: I’m actually not busy this weekend anymore.  
You: Oh sick!! K want to hit up UZU with Ren and Rei? He’s bringing his gf too so U should bring [Name]. triple date?  
Kuroo: Sorry I don’t really feel like going out.  
You: Oh you okay?  
Kuroo: Yeah ofc. just feeling kind of sick. Sorry lol next time?  
You: For sure dude just let us know. But me Rei and Yaeko (Ren’s gf) were gonna go see a movie if you wanted to come? Ren can’t make it  
Kuroo: when?  
You: Brb let me check  
You: Next Monday because we have it off  
Kuroo: sure, works for me.

 **28.**  
[Kuroo Tetsurou’s Backpack Contents]  
Micro-USB charging cable (x1)  
Phone (x1)  
iPhone lightning cable (x1)  
Charging cube (x1)  
Kenma’s DS charging cable (x1)  
Earbuds, broken (x1)  
Band-aids (x3)  
Tape roll (x1)  
Wallet (x1)  
Packaged condom (x1)  
Fibre bar wrappers (x???)  
Crumpled homework papers (x???)  
Pink, sparkly pencil (x1)  
Pencil case (x1)  
Deodorant (x1)  
Empty water bottle (x2)  
Waterproof mascara (x1)  
Picture of [Surname], Kenma, and Kuroo (x0)

 **29.**  
[**Track 4** : ULTIMATELY—KHAIDREAMS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD7H2hE8YD0)  
_…Ultimately I don't understand a thing / I try to do the best I can / I know you try to do the same / We're just so bound to make mistakes / You could call it a disposition / I apologize for all your tears / I wish I could be different / But I'm still growing up / Into the one you can call your love / I don't know if I'll ever be enough / It's so cliché to say these things, but repetition is a key / I think I'm better when I'm with you / But I worry when you're gone / I think I need to learn to love myself / I must learn to be strong / So for now we'll say goodbye…_

 **30.**  
[Transcript: An Guen]  
‘Yeah, Tetsu and I are tight. What’s up, you want him? Because he hasn’t been at school for a while. (QUESTION.) Dunno. Home, probably. He and his girl went through a rough patch or something. It tore him up pretty bad. I think he’s _fine_ , but like… I mean, think about it. Something like that happens to you? You don’t bounce back right away. Totally sucks ass, man. Wish it’d gone differently. (QUESTION.) Well, I only really knew him this year, but from what I heard he and his ex had a 3-year relationship going. Golden and everything. But it’s high school, right? Not like anything gets that serious. It was bound to happen. Still, 3 years is a lot. ‘Specially to get broken up because…? Gotta feel for him. (ANOTHER QUESTION.) Oh, shit! Sheesh, I totally forgot all about that. But hey, Taiyou girls are damn crazy, y’know? (QUESTION FOR CLARIFICATION.) Yeah, TKK. Her name was like, Jizaema something. They’re all fucking snakes over there. But whatever. Even if I did know something, I wouldn’t snitch on him. My boy didn’t do anything wrong, so you should stop sticking your nose into shit it doesn’t belong in, ‘kay?’

 **31.**  
[Screenshot of text log]  
You: (2 images) when we get married we’re definitely going to put these up in our house hahaha  
[Name]: Those… look hideous wth  
[Name]: Oh wait~? What’s this about marriage? oyaya  
You: I think the creepy sun is a nice touch TYVM.  
You: and just saying. in a couple of years you know? Lol nvm  
[Name]: Yeah, ok. When we get married, we’re not going to have that creepy sun  
You: so we’re getting married huh?  
[Name]: Fufufu~ if everything goes according to plan~  
You: lol what’s this evil ‘plan’ of urs then?  
[Name]: Secret. :^

 **32.**  
[Call Log: Kozume Kenma—1]  
Mom (Incoming FaceTime video call. 9 minutes)  
[Name] (Incoming call. 6 hours 12 minutes)  
Kuroo (Incoming call. Missed)

 **33.**  
“Are you okay?”

The nervousness was reflected in a soft reediness that seemed to melt into the hot air. One of them nodded, though little could be seen in the dark. It was better to keep your eyes shut completely. Maybe it was something like shame, the embarrassment from being seen—or maybe it was something like a link through the soul, where primitive clumsiness wasn’t necessary. Their eyelashes brushed each other’s skin, gossamer Monarch butterfly wings. Monarch butterflies are poisonous. Monarch butterflies are beautiful. There’s three pieces: the left wing, the right wing, and the soul.

Every touch was cautious; careful; deliberate. Soft in its roughness. Eager in its hesitance. Hidden away. But with their eyes shut they got close; they saw it all.

 

O, God, I beg of thee…  
_—oh fuck please please please oh my god I’m going to—_  
…forgive me, for I have sinned.

Their bodies wound together into one; yet that one is always alone. It always comes in triplets and then multiples of three:

_O, God, please._

**34.**  
[Call Log: Kuroo Tetsurou]  
Home (Outgoing call. 10:09 AM, 1 minute)  
Aya Kazama (Outgoing Skype call. 2:00 PM, 17 minutes)  
Ren Shinoka (Incoming call. Missed.)  
Yaeko Jizaema (Incoming call. Missed.)  
+096-5437098 (Incoming call (2). Missed)  
[Name] [Surname] (Incoming call (3). Missed)

 **35.**  
[**Track 1** : FOREVER—LOVESADKID](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s13YHNSHaBo)  
_…I’ve been thinking about forever / And I’ve been thinking of you and me / But way back when there was no rush / We were scared, we cared too much / But come to think, I never had a doubt ‘bout loving you—_  
**TRACK SKIPPED.**

 **36.**  
[Kozume Kenma’s Backpack Contents]  
Phone (x1)  
iPhone lightning cable (x1)  
PSP (x1)  
3DS (x1)  
Battery Pack (x2)  
Miscellaneous charging cable (x2)  
Earbuds (x2)  
Charging cube (x4)  
Miscellaneous Yen bills (x7)  
Melted chocolate bar (x1)  
Broken pencil (x2)  
Eraser (x1)  
Unfinished homework (x???)  
Mystery, empty wrapper (x1)  
Hand-written note from [Name], folded shut (x1)

 **37.**  
[Letter Addressed to [Surname] [Name]]

 

**Formal Acceptance Notice**

XX/XX/20XX  
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

Congratulations and welcome to our university. We are pleased to offer you conditional admission for the upcoming Fall 20XX semester to the program noted above. If you have applied for more than one program, details about your second choice will be communicated separately. International applicants are required to submit all final/official documents, transcripts, and English Language Proficiency by August 1, 20XX.

You have been hand-picked out of a highly competitive pool of hundreds of thousands of applicants. This year’s selection committee has proudly deemed you to be a student with great potential, aptitude, and capabilities. Your exceptional character was strongly demonstrated in your application, and as such, we are extremely pleased to welcome you as one of our own.  
   
Our university is an internationally recognised centre of research, education, and technology. It is an institution that places student learning and initiative above all else. Here, we hope that you can develop your unique talents and share them with the world. The start to the next chapter of your life may seem daunting, but we hope to assist you every step of the way.

Information about residence, registration, student visa applications, and everything else you will need have been attached. Inquiries into bursaries, scholarships, or loans will be answered at financial.need@edu.cc. Please accept your offer and pay your $2,000 deposit by the date enclosed in order to confirm your place in your program. Pre-requisites such as vaccinations, uniform fittings, and consent forms may be required depending on your program. Questions or concerns can be directed to barrettnkeaton@edu.cc or admissions.recruitment@edu.cc.

Once again, we are eager to see you on campus in September!

Sincerely,  
Barrett N. Keaton  
Director, Admissions and Recruitment

 **38.**  
[Text log: Bokuto Koutarou]  
You: Hey bro!! you got a minute to talk?  
Kuroo: yeah ofc what’s up?  
You: Ok so I have total faith in you.But recently I heard some ppl talking shit about you!!!  
Kuroo: ? lol were they sore losers frm a game or something  
You: No,this is what I heard.  
You: You and this girl from TKK had a thing? Even though you’re in a relationship…  
You: I mean I told them that you’d never cheat but it sounded rlly serious bro.  
Kuroo: which girl…  
Kuroo: oh fuck do u mean yaeko???  
Kuroo: holy shit man wtf  
You: IKR! I knew people were talking shit about my best bro so I have no idea where that came from  
You: Anyways I think you should just doublecheck with your gf,Just to clear things up  
Kuroo: it’s fine. [name] totally trusts me so i doubt she’d take it seriously if she hears..  
You: Yeah but like just in case, right?You don’t want her to hear it from somebody else lol…  
Kuroo: no it’s cool. who else knows about this?  
You: Uh couple of these Nekoma guys at the gymwe re talking about it?  
You: were*  
Kuroo: Yeah, k. Nah, Don’t worry about it.

 **39.**  
[**Track 5** : STRANGERS—BIOSPHERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYiuBRl1WMY)  
_…괜찮단 말도 없이 넌 어떻게든 될 거라고 난 그냥 믿었지 ( You didn’t need to say anything. I just believed.) / I seen ya eyes tryna hide ya thought / Wanted to get with the truth and ya lies were afoot / Keeping me down no matter how I fought / I noticed that the us in trust was the You and I in my suicide / Never going back, never check the past / ‘Sorry’s never matter, promises don't last / I know that the fire burning wasn't wrong but it's a perfect match / We were good for each other so much that we burned too fast, left and we turned to ash / Iodine diet you made me salty just for fun / And throughout explanations of my expectations you could never learn to love…_

 **40.**  
[Letter Addressed to Kuroo Tetsurou]

 

平成 XX年度  
合格通知书 •《 东京大学》  
《Year 20XX Acceptance Notice, “Tokyo University”》

首演番号 M1012《Examinee M1012》  
黒尾 鉄朗《Kuroo, Tetsurou》  
平成 XX年X月X日 《YY/MM/DD》

あなたは, 平成 XX年度本学入学者選抜試験の結果、下記のとおり合格となりので通知します。  
《This is to notify you that you have passed the university entrance examination of year 20XX.》

 

記  
理学部  
理学•生物学科  
《Faculty of Sciences, Department of Biology》

**41.**  
“Kozume, over here!”

She waved at him to draw his attention and he inwardly cringed at the sound of his name being shouted across the field. Even though nobody seemed to care, he felt like everybody had whipped their head around to stare at him. Begrudgingly, he came over obediently and glanced around suspiciously. It was oddly empty with a missing piece.

“Where’s Kuroo?” he asked, expecting the taller boy to accompany her like he always did.

“He’s taking extra time on his calc test. Anyways, let’s go ahead, and he can meet up with us later.”

Kenma couldn’t help but feel his brow twitch. “Shouldn’t we just wait for him?”

“He said it might be a while,” she reassured, waving him off. “So don’t worry about it. What, are you scared of me, Kozume?” She laughed as she curled an arm around him and he felt himself stiffen. She was older than him by a couple of months, and she was a third year, and they had known each other for a while, so it was totally fine for her to call him by his first name—and yet, the comfort in which she did so made his throat dry up.

“No,” he mumbled shyly, feeling his face grow hot. Her body was warm against him, lingeringly so, and he was suddenly hyper-sensitive to each of her movements rustling the fabric of his jacket sleeve. She was shorter than him, and when he looked down to her, strands of the bleached hair at his chin seemed to glow like gold.

“Then let’s go! I’m _so_ hungry. I’ve been looking forwards to us hanging out all week!”

The ‘us’ included Kuroo. They were a group of three. One and two and the third. He knew that. And yet, he felt like it didn’t when the two were wound together like this as one—and he was ashamed, so ashamed, to be pleased.

 **42.**  
[Discord Log: chiaseed#1994]  
chiaseed: r u ok?? is ur ping down? why won’t you use the vc :c  
asdghjkl: Don’t feel like it, sorry.  
chiaseed: oh did u lose your voice?  
asdghjkl: No, going through some irl problems. It’s fine.  
chiaseed: that sucks. sorry for bringing it up :c do you want to talk about it???  
asdghjkl: It’s ok. They’re only feelings.

 **43.**  
[Call Log: Kozume Kenma—2]  
Kuroo (Outgoing call (1). Missed)  
[Name] (Outgoing call (3). Missed)

 **44.**  
[Transcript: Airi Katsura]  
‘Yep, I know Kenma-kun. He’s kind of quiet, but we’re pretty good friends. Are you looking for him? I think he usually hangs out— (INTERRUPTION.) Oh, you already met him? ‘Kay. Yeah, um, we play Pokémon at lunch together sometimes; but we’re not super close or anything. I think he’s kind of cool and he has a great Pokémon team, but he’s not talkative enough for us to really be that close. Sometimes I even think I annoy him… (LAUGHTER. A QUESTION IS POSED.) Well, you saw him already, didn’t you? But I _guess_ he talked even less than usual today. I thought he wasn’t even here until he said something at roll call. Was something wrong? (DIALOGUE AND THEN ANOTHER QUESTION.) Oh, yeah. I think so. My cousin goes to Taiyou. I mean, I don’t know that girl personally, but I heard she lied about having an affair with a teacher. They’re all snotty rich private kids though, so it’s not like I should feel bad for them. (SCOFF.) Besides, I’ve met them. They’re all liars anyways. You just can’t ever tell what they’re thinking.’

 **45.**  
[Text Log: [Surname] [Name]]  
You: You’re kidding me, right?  
Kuroo: I don’t fucking know anymore, [Name]. Who should I believe here? You? Okay, yeah  
You: I thought you trusted me, Tetsurou?? I’m serious.  
Kuroo: He’s my BEST FUCKING FRIEND.  
You: Nothing happened. I told you this already.  
You: Look would you just call or meet me in person  
Kuroo: You could have fucked anybody else but him, but you BOTH want to fuck me over.  
You: NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! Would you just drop it?? like you’re fuckgin one to talk after what happend with Jizaema!  
Kuroo: Why bother bringing that shit up. You know it wasn’t true.  
You: Yeah well who should I believe anymore.  
Kuroo: oh okay. Forget it, I’m not going to fight it anymore. You don’t need to say shit. Have fun with him.

 **46.**  
[**Track 6** : TOTO—SALES](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkpX_SFsYg)  
_… Hails all failed, you speak alone / and the way it’s said is way-out / and you never get close / and you never see it all / until you close your eyes…_

 **47.**  
[Discord Log: chiaseed#1994]  
asdghjkl: I fucked up  
asdghjkl: I fucked up and I don’t nkow how to fix it  
chiaseed: ?? what’s wrong?  
asdghjkl: I think I broke them.

 **48.**  
[Transcript: Overheard conversation between Aya Kazama and Ayane Natsukawa]  
‘Oh my god, yeah! I was just about to ask you that, too! Do you know why they broke up? There were all these rumours and they just deleted all their pictures of each other on social media. And like, I’m friends with both, but they haven’t said anything at all to me. Tetsurou-kun hasn’t been in since Monday, either. (THEY GASP IN UNISON.) No… do you think one of them cheated?! Which one? (PAUSE.) I dunno. I don’t think either of them did, but apparently there was this huge falling out. Remember the whole incident with that TKK girl? And—oh, yeah, right. I heard about him, too. Kenma something, yeah? Isn’t he a grade below us here? Hm… Man. I don’t want to bring it up, but the curiosity is killing me. I just wish I knew what happened… but it’s like a friggin’ puzzle with a missing piece. I guess you can’t ever really know people when you’re an outsider, huh…’

 **49.**  
[**Track 7** : TELEVISION/SOFARSOGOOD—REXORANGECOUNTY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KexXcs_1LPo)  
_…But if I could just be happy by the end of this song / But if by the time you hear it you are already gone / And it didn’t go to plan / Then why should I continue in this life / When there’s no one around to be the one who makes me smile?…_

 **50.**  
Hail pelted the windows violently, but with precision, like a yabusame archer on horseback taking careful aim at one of his three targets. It had rained yesterday, and the downpour turned into miniature-sized chunks of ice overnight, rattling a drumline throughout the school building. A lot of people had skipped classes today, not wanting to bother with transit in such horrid weather. Even though all the lights were on like usual, it looked as if everything was dark.

Looking into classroom 3-5, one could see people casually mingling about out of their seats. It was lunch break, so people had bento boxes sprawled out on their desks while they chattered. The homeroom teacher, Ginoza Hiroe, was blocking the door as she spoke with a student. It wasn’t long until their conversation wrapped up. After she left, cradling a heavy-looking box of documents, it was easier to confirm that a characteristic sweep of dark bed-head wasn’t present. The empty desk was skirted around as if cursed.

The plaque that read 3-4 jutted out from the wall like all the others, a room down from 3-5. Peeking in was much more difficult as this door was closed, and it would be suspicious-looking to try and peer through the 40 x 10 cm window. Still, there was no real choice. It would be even more conspicuous to kick open the door and ask bluntly. Kirigakure Shiori moved aside, allowing one to look through the glass.

A girl sat in clear view, even through the thin wire mesh embedded in the window. [Surname] [Name] smiled as a pair of girls spoke to her. Their conversation was muted behind the door, but it seemed to be casual and easy-going, judging by the way the girl laughed with relaxed shoulders. It was only after her friends had walked away that her face fell; slowly, like the sun dips behind the horizon and leaves the sky to die. She bit her lip and looked down at her lap, her façade peeling and falling away like the flakes of ash left behind in a forest fire. Even without knowing the whole story, the corner of the photo was enough to reveal the whole. It was as Kyou had said—

_Her heart has been broken._

Kuroo Tetsurou was nowhere near the school building, lying tiredly in his bed like he’d been for the past few days already. His pillowcases had stiffened to the touch with dried tears. It was here that he’d first whispered words of love into her; first realized that things were going wrong—realized that he’d fucked up, she’d fucked up—and, like the sky above them, like the cooling fire, things were dying out. He drew the covers up over his head as if childishly blocking himself off from the world might stop the pain, but it bled on. The photograph he usually kept in the back of his phone case stared at him forlornly from his desk, face up. He’d tried to throw it away, but he couldn’t. He didn’t think he had the strength to; he wasn’t sure he could learn how to be strong. He wasn’t even sure he could re-learn how to _love_ anymore. A tear ran down the middle of the picture, dividing it into jagged, ugly pieces. 3 faces looked back with disappointment. There would be no fixing that.

And Kenma, already having had enough, had escaped the classroom and tucked himself into a stairwell that was rarely frequented. He had a hand clasped over the front of his mouth to quiet his crying, which was shameful enough as is. The world around him swirled vaguely like smoke in a glass bowl, dizzying, as if he was being fully reminded of the fact that they were only these small, stupid idiots hurtling 2.1 million kilometers an hour through space. It was like he could feel the wind tearing at his face; just like the wind played with her hair; just like the wind scatters shards far, far away.

There were three pieces, shattered apart—and there was no way to put it back together, no way to _know_ what had happened or gone wrong. There is no way to know the truth; only guesses made from the pieces left behind. Flying past a car crash, you can’t know what happened. You don’t know who was there; who was in the wrong; who died; who cried; who’s gone. But something happened. In the ashen remains, you know something happened. Yet all you can do is look and see:

It’s already gone, broken—and it’s never going to be the same.

**Author's Note:**

> read this elsewhere: https://goo.gl/EDMyXA


End file.
